October 30, 2011

• Death, but victory!

  The last couple of weeks have been full of saying goodbye.  Uncle Vernon Zehr from Delaware lost his battle with liver disease. Uncle Vernon was married to my mother’s sister Freda, and so He died on October 16 and his funeral was on October 20.  I was expecting his death, as his decline had been ongoing for a while, and determined that I should go to his funeral.  His oldest son, Jay, is my age, and I wanted to be there.  Amazingly, I already had taken the 19th to the 21st off already, so I was able to get a flight up to Delaware, and planned to stay there until Sunday am to visit my folks.  It was a very special time of saying goodbye to a gentle intellectual giant among men, an uncle that I admired for his positive attitude and for his work in the church as pastor and often counselor or friend.  His service was a beautiful tribute to an individual who, in the words of the pastor, sometimes came in “left of center.”  His daughter Kathy said in her eulogy,
  

  There is a quote attributed to Mahatma Gandhi that goes like this; “I like your Christ, I do not likeyour Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ”. I would submit that Mahatma Gandhi never met my father. When you boil it all down, the message, brought by Jesus Christ is a message of love and forgiveness. Iknow of no other person who took this good news as literally as my father. He lived it daily. In Jesus he found a kindred spirit. The teachings found in the Sermon On the Mount were the foundation of my father’s life and helived them with such integrity. I saw my father cheerfully obey Christ’s admonition to love your neighbor as yourself, to forgive, to resist not evil, to turn the other cheek, to live as the sparrows joyfully in the moment,without fear or worry.
  

  I was fortunate to have been there, and got to see my cousins and some old friends from the my original home area of Greenwood, Delaware.  I was sitting behind my cousin Jeanne who lost her husband to cancer less than 2 years ago, and so the wounds are still pretty raw there.  While singing the song, “Does Jesus Care”, and the verse that states, “Does Jesus care when I’ve said goodbye to the dearest on earth to me, and my sad heart aches til it nearly breaks, Does he care enough to be near?”   I was sobbing, and she was sobbing, and my brother Paul beside me was crying for both of us, as well as for Aunt Freda.  But I am confident in the answer –”Yes, He cares, I know he cares…But assurance of God’s love, and care does not stop tears, but it does provide comfort…

  Here are Uncle Lloyd and Aunt Orpha, with Uncle Vernon’s daughter Kathy, and cousin Barbara on the right

  
  

  My brother Dave with cousin Mark 
  

                
  

  My brother Paul and cousin Brad Yoder
  

  Uncle Harvey and Aunt Alma Jean

  MaryAnn and Daniel Yutzy (BuckeyeGirlie)
  

  Vernon, Jr. 

   

  Polly (the patchworker) with grandson James

  Cousin Alma Jean Heatwole, and Gladys Gingrich–married to cousin Dale
  

  
  

  Cousin Brent with his wife Heidi
  

  
  

  Dale and Gladys Gingrich

  
  

  Uncle Lloyd and Aunt Beverly Wert
  

  
  

  I had some extra time while I was up there, so I made plans to play golf with my cousin Mark, husband to PollythePatchworker.  We were playing, not so well for me, but better for Mark, on a windy, partly cloudy fall day, and had just completed 9 holes when I saw on my phone that I had missed a call from my cousin Darrel Yoder in Michigan.  Although we talk occasionally, that was a bit unusual, so I called him back.  When he said, “I have bad news from Michigan,” I knew that it was bad, but never dreamed what his words would be.  His brother Merlin, mine and Mark’s first cousin, had been entrapped in a combine and had been there for an unknown length of time until he was found.  They resuscitated him, and were able to get a heartbeat back, but he was unresponsive neurologically, and things did not look hopeful.  Apparently his clothing had twisted and cut off his supply of oxygen, although it was only his arm entrapped in the combine.  A return of the deep-pitted feeling that I have experienced during times of loss or tragedy returned with a vengeance.  Needless to say, we stopped right there and offered a prayer for the situation to the God who has all situations under control, and knows best.  Pleading for the healing of Merlin, and for his family as they gathered round him.  Merlin never regained consciousness, and died 2 1/2 days later.  That funeral was also planned on a Thursday, and once again looked for some tickets to fly to Michigan…Fortunately, 7 of us cousins were able to get a flight to Detroit from DE, FL, and AL, all landing about the same time, and able to rent a vehicle from there to take us to the Bay Port, Michigan area in time for the viewing one day, and the funeral on Thursday.

  Once again, pain imposed its burden on a family, and the world stopped to grieve.  I was amazed by how similar the story of Pat, wife of Merlin, was with our families story.  Similar decisions about life and similar decisions about saying goodbye.  I wept as I met the family, with the siblings as much in shock as I was.  Gloria, Darrel, and Dale and their families all were there and I experienced their grief as well.  But in all of it, I also God’s sustaining grace working in their family, and in their lives.  The funeral service was a tribute to an outstanding man, one who was adventuresome, but with foresight; full of life, but concerned about the less fortunate; equally home at riding a motorcycle cross country as he had in the previous couple of months, or managing a farm with innovation and grace.  His son Mike sang the song

  I have unanswered prayers
  I have trouble I wish wasn’t there
  And I have asked a thousand ways
  That You would take my pain away
  That You would take my pain away

  I am trying to understand
  How to walk this weary land
  Make straight the paths that crooked lie
  Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
  Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

  When my world is shaking
  Heaven stands
  When my heart is breaking
  I never leave Your hands

  When You walked upon the Earth
  You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
  I know You hate to see me cry
  One day You will set all things right
  Yea, one day You will set all things right

  When my world is shaking
  Heaven stands
  When my heart is breaking
  I never leave Your hands

  Your hands
  Your hands that shape the world
  Are holding me, they hold me still
  Your hands that shape the world
  Are holding me, they hold me still

  When my world is shaking
  Heaven stands
  When my heart is breaking
  I never leave You when…

  When my world is shaking
  Heaven stands
  When my heart is breaking
  I never leave…
  I never leave Your hands

  Once again tears mingled with joy at his graduation…to heaven, but so soon? It doesn’t seem possible.  I have no idea how Mike was able to sing all the way through–quite touching..
  

  Here are a couple of pictures of Merlin, one with his wife, Pat, and one with his sister Gloria–these were taken this spring in the Shenandoah valley at our Yoder cousin reunion.

  Merlin and Pat

  
  

  Merlin and his sister Gloria

  
  

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